Below are some letters that we have received from supporters of our bills. Some of the letters have been abbreviated and/or corrected for spelling, and letters without a name or location have been posted anonymously at the request of the writer.

If you would like to tell us about your experience with circumcision, please email us at comments@mgmbill.org. Unless you are a government official such as a congressperson or state legislator, we won't post your comments or your name and location without receiving your written permission first.

March 20, 2008

When I had my son, I hadn't researched circumcision, but when the doctor asked me if I wanted it done, I instinctively said I thought it was better to leave my son alone. Now, 14 years later, I'm glad I made the right decision. Several years later, I came across a study linking aggressive behavior to circumcision, and that's when I started to do my own research. The more I learned, the more I couldn't understand how doctors, who have pledged to "do no harm", can continue to perform this mutilation on unconsenting patients.

I'm expecting again now, and in talking to other expectant mothers, it's alarming how much misinformation is out there. People still think that circumcision has significant health benefits and that there is no function to the parts of the penis removed. Most troubling is the idea that this is a "personal choice" belonging to the parents, rather than to the owner of the body whose parts are being permanently altered. I sincerely hope that someone in Congress will step forward to sponsor this important legislation, and that others will vote for and support genital integrity of all our children, not just our girls.

Katherine Berland
Columbia, MD

March 30, 2006

I have for several years indulged myself in a weekly massage. At one of these sessions, I noted a deep pain in my genital area, and my hands involuntarily moved to protect myself. I began to cry and was very disturbed. The session soon ended, and when the massage therapist and I spoke of what had happened, I was questioned about any memories of childhood abuse or injury in my genital area. The possibility was raised of circumcision being the source of my remembered pain.

I denied any knowledge or recognition of pain relating to my circumcision. I grew up in a middle class Jewish home with a large extended family, and ritual circumcision (brit [or bris] milah) was a common family event. Later, in medical school, I saw and even participated in circumcisions. I simply could not accept the fact that a profound trauma locked in my body and brain had been released by this therapy.

Five days later, while on a bicycle trip, my wife and I stopped at a coffee shop. There were some dog-eared books for sale on a table in a corner of the shop. My eyes were drawn to one entitled Questioning Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective. Its message resonated deeply within my body, and I was shaken to the core.

I can only describe the next few months as a period of intense anxiety and mourning for my lost foreskin. My sexual experiences in life had been so very important to me, and I now felt cheated, robbed of sensations that I would never know. Raging anger and uncontrolled sobbing were daily occurrences. After some time, these emotions came into control and have been helpful to me in my evolving role as an Intactivist.

Mark D. Reiss, M.D.

San Francisco, California

(Mark Reiss is now Executive Vice President of Doctors Opposing Circumcision)

January 28, 2006

February 13, 2005

I was mutilated as an infant and because of that I want you to know that I am behind your bill to end the gender discrimination in the current genital mutilation law that is now on the books.  Certainly it is a terrible thing for any girl to undergo FGM and your amendment does not weaken that in any way, but I fail to understand how it is tolerated when it comes to males.

I suspect that legislators realized that they had a “win-win” situation on their hands in supporting an FGM bill because there is definitely a much smaller base of circumcisers of females in this country than there is of male circumcisers.  You can say that you supported a child protection bill, and not lose much support from your constituency. If you leave it at female protection only, you look good to all, and offend very few.  I really want a bill that is truly gender neutral.

Thank you,

John Soemer

Flanders, New Jersey

February 3, 2005

January 28, 2005

Thank you for proposing this much needed bill.

I have suffered all of my 61 years because of a botched infant circumcision. The physical and emotional pain have nearly ruined my life, yet there's been very little that any urologist has been able to do for me.

Genital integrity is everybody's birthright. Stop infant circumcision.

Sincerely,

Denny Norton

Portland, Oregon

August 17, 2004

Thank you for your letter to The Kansas City Star on 8/17. I am expecting a son this November and have been researching male circumcision. I agree that it is male genital mutilation, but as I called local pediatricians, I was told that they regularly circumcise 99% of male newborns. I am still looking for a pediatric group that does not promote the practice.

Thanks for the information to help me refute the "everybody does it" mentality, or the people who say "he should look like Daddy." Your website is very informative. Good luck on your bill.

Victoria Calhoun
Lenexa, Kansas

March 17, 2004

I applaud your efforts to get a bill into congress to end male circumcision.  I wanted to relate my story in hopes of convincing you to propose another bill if this one should not be sponsored.  I had my infant son circumcised 2 days ago.  No one explained the procedure in detail to me.  I was told he would be numbed and it wouldn't be painful.  I didn't understand the function of the foreskin entirely and thought that the procedure would be a fast, painless removal of a loose flap of skin for the benefit of his personal hygiene and social acceptance.  My doctor knew that I was torn over whether to have this procedure done or not, mainly leaning towards doing it only because my husband thought we should for sanitary reasons.  She gave me the pros and cons of doing it and not doing it, but never explained the procedure in detail to me.  I chose to go ahead with it because I thought it was best for him.  My husband and I never would've chosen to do this had we known how traumatic it would be and how badly our child would suffer.

I watched in horror as they forcibly separated the foreskin from my son's tiny penis and then inserted a large plastic "bell" into the wound area.  At first, my son didn't seem to notice, but as the procedure continued he reacted with obvious pain.  The doctors maintain that he only felt "pressure" because lidocaine is an effective analgesic.  I have had lidocaine myself for various procedures and have frequently had to receive additional shots because it wasn't as effective for me as it should've been.  I later pointed this out to a doctor from my pediatrician's office who was trying to convince me that the procedure had not been as painful for my son as I thought.  She agreed that it's possible the analgesic wasn't totally effective.

I'm completely outraged at being so misled.  A friend of mine who had her son circumcised also agreed that her son experienced pain during the procedure.  According to her "he spit his pacifier 3 feet across the room!"  Male circumcision is such a controversial topic, that I fear that no one will have the fortitude to step up and sponsor your MGM bill.  Should this happen, I would like to urge you to submit a bill requiring doctors to provide more detailed literature, videos and verbal information to parents considering circumcision.  They should give parents accurate information about the function and sensory makeup of the foreskin.  Doctors should also be required to advise parents that pain medication may not be 100% effective for all children and there is a chance their son could feel significant pain during the procedure.  Lastly, accurate information should be provided to parents about how many other parents are choosing NOT to circumcise their babies, to assure them that their child will not be considered so "different" by society.

I cannot tell you how much I regret having this done to my baby.  I sobbed and sobbed as I watched my son suffer, helpless to stop the procedure once it began.  I cried that whole day, part of the night, and most of the next day... every time I looked at the sweet, innocent little child who expected me to protect him.  I feel like I failed him, failed as a parent to be informed and make the right decision for him.  I will regret the rest of my life not picking him up and walking out of that room.  I will always regret not spending 5 minutes researching the procedure on the Internet myself since my doctor didn't give me all the facts.  I will forever be angry that I was deceived by the medical community and other parents who assured me it was "no big deal."

We may not be able to get congress to ban this procedure, but at least we can make sure parents are given ACCURATE information about MGM before deciding to have this done.  I strongly believe if more people knew the truth, they would choose not to do this to their children.  I will live every day with the guilt of having made the wrong choice for my son.  I have finally gotten to the point where I can look into his eyes without crying.  I can now change his diaper without bursting into tears.  But I'll never get over this.  I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that the day I had him circumcised was the second worst day of my life.  It's superseded only by the day my father and brother died in a car accident.  That is honestly how devastating this has been for me.  Please help me stop this from happening to other parents and innocent children!!!

and in a follow-up letter on 3/18/2004:

I'm in Anchorage, AK where my pediatrician advised me that approximately 90% of the parents in her practice choose circumcision.  I'd also like to add that in addition to my own naivety about the foreskin, my mother (a registered nurse for over 30 years) also was unaware that it would have to be forcibly separated from the penis.

I totally agree with your point that boys should be given the same protection as girls.  Had I known the full extent of the procedure I never would have had it done.  The first thing I said to my mother after we left the doctor's office (in tears) is that I can't believe it's legal to have this done to a child.  I will be forwarding my letter to my congressman as well.

Sincerely,

Sandra Aldrich

Anchorage, Alaska

March 17, 2004

I am the mother of 2 circumcised sons.  Before the birth of my sons I tried to talk to my husband about the topic.  He listened, ignored me, and said "it is getting done and that is the end of it."  Both times he won and my sons and I lost.  The amount of guilt I feel for not being able to stick up for their rights better is tremendous.  My sweet little babies were taken from my warm arms, tied down, and torn apart.  They were the "lucky" ones.  They had pain relief.  It still didn't make me feel any better.  My husband said after one long one sided talk "Don't worry, they'll thank me someday".  The last words I said to him that day were "Trust me ... They will NEVER thank you for that".  I feel it has ruined my once happy relationship with my husband.  I carry the guilt around in my heart with the love for my children.  After our second son was home he admitted that he didn't even bother to research it like I asked him to.  He simply thought I was being ridiculous.  He said it is something that was always done and should still be done.  After many long talks he finally has admitted that he thinks I was right.  Too late for my babies .  Mothers know that this is wrong.  Ignore your husband’s demands and go with the feeling in your heart.  Your sons will thank you someday, your heart will remain unbroken, and the only tears you will shed for your son will be on his first day of kindergarten.

I would like to help out anyway that I can with your cause.  I wrote a letter to Rob Andrews asking him to support this bill.  I think that more education is needed on this topic.  The formula companies have no trouble getting mailing lists of pregnant women.  If we could get a hold of mailing lists we could send out educational materials to expectant mothers.  If parents knew what circumcision was they would never choose it for their children.  Unfortunately since the ob/gyn does the circumcision (clearly out of scope of practice... how can someone who practices female medicine legally remove skin off of a penis!  You don't see dentists doing open heart surgery!), there is little or no counseling done before the parents make the decision.  More negative advertisements from the media would also help along with billboards along the roadways.  I sincerely hope that this bill is only a few years away.  If circumcision were illegal baby boys would enjoy the same peaceful beginning as girls.

Mary

New Jersey

December 5, 2003

I didn't realize what circumcision had done to me until this year at age 28. When I was six years old I made a horrible discovery that I was missing part of my penis. That someone had cut off part of my penis and scarred me down there. My mother laughed at the idea I could be upset by this and repeated outdated myths of hygiene and tradition. Since then I have been against circumcision of minors. Since then I have suffered in silence alone.

This year for reasons I cannot recall I did a simple Yahoo search on circumcision. What I found continues to dominate my thoughts at all hours. I had been brainwashed to believe it was for my own good, which I never accepted, but I had been duped into believing it was just extra skin. How would I know? I was never allowed to know my own body. From the age of 24 hours someone else NOT ME decided for no valid reason that I should be disfigured, scarred and censored from normal sexual experience for life. How could anyone allow this to continue when even our own U.S. medical societies and organizations admit it is unnecessary for health? What about religion? Who can predict the religion of a child? My freedom of religion was amputated as well.

Every day of my life in the bathroom, in the shower, in the bedroom, abstinent or sexually active I have been/am forced to deal with what was done to me. I cannot escape its effects. Effects I didn't choose and as an adult with any sense would never consent to. Where was my protection then? Where is my justice now?

Graham